A few years ago, I decided that satellite TV was the way to go. I found a great deal on a dish and figured I'd save a hundered bucks on the install and do it myself. I mean, how hard could it be? Okay, that was probably one of the stupidest questions I 've ever asked (if you don't count me asking the judge "You talkin' to me?", while doing my best Travis Bickle impersonation).

Anyway, if you've ever hooked up a satellite dish, you realize that finding a signal requires a college degree and a lot of shouting from to the roof to a 12 year old engineer in the front room. The dialogue consists of a lot of:

"What's the signal strength?"

"Huh?"

"Is it doing anything?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to come down there and ....?"

"Huh?"

All that's followed by a lot of cussing (by the 12 year old of course) and an olympic type slip and fall performance off of the roof (by me of course).

Anyway we're back on cable now. If I ever decide to install satellite again (yeah, right!), I'll be sure to do it the smart way like Danny over at Mavromatic.com:

I’ve installed a few Satellite Dishes for friends, family, and myself — I really hate it. Most of the installs I have done involved setting the Dish up on a roof or far from the receiver, thus rendering the tone and display generated from the Dish Setup screen useless. I have bought all the standard setup tools… the digital compass and inline satellite signal meter, but those tools still don’t make it a 15-minute setup job. Solution, use an old Realistic PocketVision 22. I think my pocket TV is circa 1989, but any pocket TV with miniplug antenna port will work — I’ve seen these things as cheap as $10 used.

A little TV on the roof? Why the hell didn't I think of that? Oh well, at least now I know how to tuck and roll after a 12 foot swandive. Be sure to read the complete tutorial:

HOW TO: Setup A Satellite Dish In 15 Minutes at Mavoratic.com